Friday, November 28, 2008

"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is GOOD; His love endures forever" Psalm 118:1

Howdy from Fairview,

There are so many reasons to give thanks on this day after Thanksgiving--and I don't say that to sound super strong or positive because, on the contrary, I'm a little bit cynical usually. I say that for the fact that, there truly ARE so many reasons to give thanks right now. I have an amazing family, incredible friends, and most importantly, a sovereign God who's got far better plans for any one of us than we could ever draw up or imagine. Also, give thanks that my family and friends have kept their great senses of humor. As my parents have said, it's a rare day when you report at the end of the night that it was a "good" day because we found out I had Hodgkin's lymphoma. Really though, in perspective, it is such a blessing that I've got a disease/cancer that's got over a 90% cure rate.

I realized a couple things after the first post: (1) I should have given some more background as to how this problem arose, and (2) my math skills are really unfortunate (but more on that at the end).

For all those who have said that they had no clue I was even having a problem, I want to assure you: neither did we until just recently. Here's a little timeline and background from the past month: I noticed sometime during volleyball practice (apparently I was a little distracted) one day near the end of October that I had a couple of swollen lymph nodes right above my collar bone on the left side of my neck. I went into our health center on Friday, November 7th for a flu shot, and when they asked me if I was sick at all before they administered it, I said no, but I mentioned that I had some lymph nodes that were a little swollen and didn't know if that meant I was getting sick but wasn't feeling it yet. They said I was good to go for the flu shot, but they wanted me to see a doctor about the lymph nodes. I then saw Dr. Chris Santi on Monday, November 10th at the Cornerstone Medical Group in Wheaton as a referral from a referral from a friend. He has been a huge blessing and has stayed so involved, and as he referred me to an ENT, he reminded me that God is the ultimate Healer and has perfect plans, so I shouldn't worry. I saw the ENT on Friday, November 14th, and he concluded that I needed a CT scan sometime the next week. On Wednesday, November 19th, I had the CT scan, and on Friday, November 21st, we got the results and the call that I would need a biopsy. I had the biopsy on Monday, November 24th, and we got the results on Wednesday, of which you heard when I last posted. So, again, things have been moving pretty quickly. In case all of that was confusing to you, know that it was only a week ago today that I found out I'd even need a biopsy.

As far as treatment goes, we have decided that we'd like for me to do treatment in Chicago. I have 2 weeks left of this semester, and next semester I only have 5 hours (all General Education courses, too...yeah...I'm THAT senior), but ultimately, I strongly desire to graduate with my class, so we're gonna keep moving to make that happen. While my family is in Dallas, both of my parents work and my little sister goes to school, so on the days when I wouldn't be doing chemo or need someone to help me, I would be bored to TEARS. Plus, routine is good for me...this I have learned over the past 21 years. We got a recommendation for a doctor at Northwestern in Chicago from a sophomore at Wheaton, Kirsten Friedl, who just finished her last chemo for Hodgkin's, and we're hopefully going to get in to see him in the next week or so.

As for the comment on my math skills....let that be another reason why I NEED to finish at Wheaton. I have YET to take the math competency exam, so I'm confident that, after taking the exam (again, I'm THAT senior who waited until the last opportunity), I would have been able to calculate better the percentage of Wheaton girls with Hodgkin's cases. (It should have been .06%, not 6%...but if you didn't catch it either, we're all in this together.)

Once again, thanks so much for all of the encouragement, prayers, and love. You will never know how much you have already blessed me and my family. Some have mentioned that the specific prayer requests were helpful, so I'll try and be real with our needs both now and in the future. We would love continued wisdom as we make some scheduling decisions and finalize details, as well as prayers to get in to see the doctor at Northwestern pretty soon so that it can get going and finish up right around graduation in May. Also, as my parents prepare to send me back to Chicago on Sunday, I'd love prayer for them. When they sent me back to Wheaton 3 days after shoulder surgery during my sophomore year, my mom said it was the hardest thing she's had to do with us, so, as I'm guessing cancer trumps a shoulder in most minds, prayers for peace would be great. :)

On Christ the solid rock I stand,

Hannah

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

"He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD" Psalm 112:7

God is good...ALL the time.

So many thoughts are running through me right now--everything from uncertainty to trust, from frustration to knowing that I am so incredibly blessed, from having so much to say to being at a loss for words.

Let me back up by saying that I wanted to start this so as to not merit my parents' anger when they see the phone bill and realize that I've gone probably months beyond my text-messaging limit. Also, let me take a moment to thank each and every one who has texted back, called, e-mailed, messaged, etc. to offer words of wisdom, encouragement, support, and prayer. I have been brought to tears more times than you can imagine--in fact, most of the times I've cried so far have been from knowing that God has so blessed me with incredible family and friends. Y'all have already been such a huge support system, and that has made a world of difference.

On to what we know: I got a call this morning from one of the first doctors I saw in Wheaton--who happens to be a believer, has been praying for me, and is a God-send--and he talked to the pathologist this morning. I officially now know what the biopsy showed, which is that I have Hodgkin's Lymphoma, the "nodular sclerosing" type. While the fact that I have cancer in and of itself just sucks, if I had to have any kind of cancer, Hodgkin's is the kind you want, apparently. They say it's VERY treatable, so PTL (praise the Lord). The other good news is that I still have no symptoms (other than a lovely hole and future scar in my neck from the biopsy)--but no weight loss, night sweats, fever, or fatigue--and they think that it has not spread to my lungs or anywhere else yet, so it's pretty early.

Hodgkin's lymphoma is pretty rare, I guess--only about 6,000 get it per year, and half of those are women. (I actually received an e-mail from a girl at Wheaton who just finished her last round of chemo yesterday for Hodgkin's disease, so we make up something like 6% of women's cases right there.) Here's a link to the Mayo Clinic's website on Hodgkin's disease, which will explain so much better than I can about this disease. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/hodgkins-disease/DS00186

While we now know what is going on with me, we have not yet figured out what treatment to have, where to have it (Chicago or Dallas), who to go to, etc., and so my family and I would LOVE your continued prayers and support for wisdom and continued peace as we sort this out. As for me, I am honestly doing ok--at least for now--I can't promise it will always be like that, but I am doing great right now. There are a couple things in the back of my mind helping me out right now.

First, I've had enough injuries (2 requiring surgery and 1 stiches in the past three years) to know that "why" is not the question to be asking God. This year when I dislocated my kneecap during conference of my final season of volleyball, it was so frustrating to see so much hard work and heart poured into a season, only to have it amount to missing half of conference and coming back for the last 2 weeks of my senior season, and clearly not at my top ability. As much as during the injuries it was hard to see why, once again, I was having to learn that lesson, maybe the reason for all of them was to collectively be preparing me to deal with this and knowing that I have to trust in His incredible sovereignty.

Additionally, as I mentioned earlier, I am SO blessed, and that has helped more than you can know in facing this. I was actually shopping with my friend Caroline this morning when I got the call, and once we hung up, I cried for a second on her shoulder (mostly about the potential that I might have to put off my academics for this semester, when I've worked so hard to finish at Wheaton). We walked a couple stores down, and before we made it to the end of the row, she had some phone numbers from her mom, boyfriend, and dad of doctors that we could call since we don't really have a primary care doctor or oncologist in Dallas. Another instance was calling my best friend Sarah to ask her dad (who's a very good doctor in major Dallas hospitals) for some names of oncologists. Her response was that she would ask him, and she assured me that by the time she called me later, they would have a doctor for me, treatment options, and that everything was going to be just fine.

Instances like these two this morning, along with all of the other calls and messages, have just floored me as I see how greatly God has blessed me. I'd love to brag on all of you, but this post has already gotten way too long, and for that, I'm sorry (I always get in trouble for being long-winded and wordy in my English papers).


As so many have reassured me, God is in control, and nothing is out of his hands. And, as I've been learning over the past couple months, God is GOOD, and not out to get me. He is the rock we cling to, and He is so faithful. Give thanks that He is sovereign.

As we find out more info about where and when treatment will happen, I'll make sure and update y'all. In the meantime, I think my family is taking this the hardest, so I'd love prayer for them, for miraculous healing, for wisdom as we sort out details, and for "the peace that passes all understanding" (Phil. 4:7). Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your love and prayers.

On Christ the solid rock I stand,

Hannah